TIPS FOR FATHERS OF TEENAGE DAUGHTERS: TIP #1

A while back, I put together some tips for fathers of teenage daughters.

I feel like JJSB Broadcast is where they belong.  I have, of course, included the resulting Facebook comments for full enjoyment.

Tip #1: Don't panic when your clothes mysteriously begin disappearing from you closet. 

This is a normal phenomenon when one or more teenage daughters reside in your home. 

Instead of panicking, calmly ask each of your daughters if she has seen the article of clothing.

You will most likely be told, "No".

If so, patiently wait for the item of clothing to magically appear in a pile of dirty laundry, often with the lingering scent of perfume, and proceed to wash and dry appropriately.

DO NOT carry the item around with you displaying it to each daughter in order to investigate further how the item came to disappear in the first place.  This will result in further denials and will serve only to notify your daughter(s) that the item is now "back in play"  

Instead, if at all possible, hide the article of clothing behind or under another piece of clothing that one (or more) of your daughters has previously categorized as hideous. 

Oh, and one more thing, kiss your socks goodbye and plan on buying a new pack every couple of months or so.  

You can try to prevent the "soxodus" by purchasing ugly socks that your daughter(s) would never wear in a million years.  However, when

 these socks are placed into your sock drawer, a mystical process takes place and they are transformed into the most highly coveted, female, teenage foot coverings to have ever existed. 

I find that, for the sake of one's sanity, it is best not to attempt to comprehend this magic but instead to continue to purchase 10 times more socks than you actually need in the hope that you can retain 3-4 pairs for your own use over the span of a month.